The Healing Power of RC Flying
When my husband died unexpectedly on one of the coldest days in January, everything in my life changed. Mike had been flying in the morning and a few hours later was in the ER. My days were filled with pain, confusion, exhaustion. Shortly after Mike's death, fog rolled in for days and the feeling of loneliness and powerlessness was overwhelming. I could barely see my front yard and likewise could not see my future.
Mike started flying RC planes less than two years before his death. He was invited by a friend, and went all in, practicing as often as possible, researching and buying planes, learning to repair them, and best of all, making many new friends. I tagged along sometimes and watched. Eventually, I learned some very simple flying on safe mode with just a few planes. It wasn’t about flying for me, but became something special we could do together. The best times were when it was just the two of us at the field.
We could laugh at our mistakes and even share the pain of the crashes! The blue skies and sunsets with the planes soaring overhead brought us hours of joy.
After Mike’s death, I could barely look at our garage full of his planes—each one a “favorite” at one time. I kept a few, but couldn’t imagine being part of the RC club or flying again. Eventually, I drove out to the field on evenings when I was pretty sure it would be empty. I was still a member and tried to feel close to Mike in the place he loved.
Mostly, I just cried while out there.
What I couldn’t have predicted was the love from the club members. I had barely learned the names of a few members, but they knew me. Several checked on me regularly and invited me out to the field. I was able to talk about Mike and they weren’t put off by my grief. In June, a memorial night flying event was held for Mike, and I was able to invite some family to see this place that had been so special to us. And then a couple of guys encouraged me to try to fly. At first, it seemed I could never focus without remembering Mike by my side always ready to grab the controls! I tried with a buddy box, and it was not good. I would have destroyed the planes without the expertise of the person holding that trainer box. Not once did I receive any criticism or discouragement.
But it seemed that Mike was telling me from his heart to mine that I needed to fly! I started reading all the old issues we had of Model Aviation. I tried to use the simulator that we had just gotten ourselves at Christmas and went out to use the one at the clubhouse. And then a kind member that has flown for many years offered to dust off his training skills and work with me. Day after day, we met to train for several hours. Whoever else was out at the field never failed to encourage and support me.
It's been almost a year of training and many ups and downs and some tears.
But I can fly some of Mike's planes solo now! I have even gotten back a few that I had given away or sold. It has been an incredible journey of healing and love. Our RC club is about much, much more than just flying the planes.
We are a family.
